For about a week now the sun has come out to see us every day, the wind has been stil and everything around us is frosted.
It is beautiful.
I have been living up here in the northern parts of Sweden for about five years and I can truly say that this is one of the moste beautiful places I know.
I still have a hard time with summer time cause it never gets dark but other than that all of the seasons are so gorgeous.

I recommend people to come up and visit the high coast of Sweden. You would never regret it :)

That is all I had to say today, all day are not bad:)

I try to tell myself this every day but it doesn't always work...
My thoughts run away with me kind of often and it makes my head hurt cause I am trying to convince my self that I am making stuff up.
But when I have a gut feeling it is hard to convince myself of an other truth.

I think that people judge me, that they are still judging me for who I was, things I have said and things that I have done.
I judge me so why shouldn't people around me?
I have never meant to hurt anybody but I guess that I have...if people don't want to be with me that is fine but it still hurts when I feel left out.

I don't want to feel like I have to convince people that I have changed but in a strange way I want them to know that I am better now. I am wiser now. I am still me just a better version of me.

It all comes down to one thing...ME.
I have to forgive myself and move on and accept that things are the way they are.
I have to keep on telling myself that I am a good person and that I am beautiful just the way I am, until I believe it.
Cause if I don't believe it nobody else will believe it.

This is not the way I thought that I would spend my Saturday. Trying to direct my thoughts in an other direction trying not to let it get to me.
Sometimes I am so strong and don't let stuff get to me but other times its so...so...so annoying.
There are bigger problems than this...like....No, not today. Not to me, there is a war going on inside of me and I can't afford to lose. I am already injured...time for game face.

...I am a good person and beautiful just the way I am...

So it's a new year, 2013...strange.
All around I am super happy about the year that has passed.
My family is healthy and for all I know happy.
I have friends that I love and that love me.
I am married to a man that makes me so happy that sometimes (do not judge me) it makes me cry. But he makes me crazy sometimes too!
And also this year I have learned so much about my self.I have a long way to go but I think by this time next year I might love myself.

Yesterday I was upset about all the stuff I have done in the past that I feel that I am not proud of. Thoughts that I have had about people. Things I have said about people in the past that I wished I had keept to myself.
I was laying in bed feeling kind of low talking to my husband when he said something so beautiful to me
" Catharina it's not that you were a bad person befor it's just that you are wiser now".
And that made it all just go away. I have never been a bad person and I am not a bad person now. I just have to forgive my self for the things that have happend in the past, move on and trust myself that I have learned for my past.

I don't see the new year as a new beginning, I see it more as taking 2012 for what is was,with its ups and downs, and then just keep on walking. The past doesn't define us it shapes us.

Last week I said good bye to my music students at häggdångerskolan.
It was bitter sweet. I like the school, the people I work with and the kids but it got to be to much.
I have or had two jobs and it was to hard to keep up with both.

I have never been good at saying good bye.
I always get this funny feeling all the way down in my gut and like something is stuck in my throat.
The kids were lovely and I am going to miss them a lot. But I promised that I would come and visit.
The people that I work with gave me a beautiful flower as a gift and kind words, that I will always remember.

Now to the boiled egg!
I decided to just go with my instincts on this one.
I boiled up the water with the egg in it, then when I felt that it boiled enough I turned down the heat from 6 too 3 and let is boil for 11minutes :)
This is the result

I was thinking that I should teach myself how to boil an egg.
Yesterday was the first time I tried...did not work out...at all...
But I was not about to give up. So I tried today again and this time with a little bit of help from google I found a page that did it step by step...didn't help me none.

First of all I have never liked boiled eggs ( but I am 29 now so I thought that I should give it a try for real)
Second I don't know how I like my eggs done...
The first two eggs I made were really runny. Not my cup of tea.
Then I only had one egg left and that was much better but still to lose in the middle.
So I am thinking I like hard boiled eggs. But I won't find out until tomorrow.

Stay tune for the exciting continuation...

Right now I am at a place in my life that love.
I've been a married woman for about four months to a man that I love.
I have a job that I love and that I can truly say that I am good at.
I have people in my life that are good for me and that give me joy.
I feel more at peace with myself now than I ever have.

In all the craziness that goes on inside and outside of me I try to never forget all the positive things I have and enjoy in my life.
Never forget what you do have! All the other bad stuff doesn't seem to matter that much.

Good night/ cat

Now it's been over a year since I wrote anything...that's bad.I am on a journey and my journey started about a year ago.I have figured out that I am a person that need to talk about things BUT I am not very good at talking about the things that really bother me.That is what started my journey. I wanted to be a easier person to deal with in different relations. I think I was getting bitter.Bitter over the things that had happened to me in the past and I didn't know how to deal with it.So I grabbed the bull by its balls and went to get help. Help to sort out everything. I have lived 29 years and I needed help :)Right now as I am writing I am in a down period in my journey. I know that I am still doing progress but it is aggravating when I feel that I am standing still.Good night world

Yesterday I said bye bye to sweet stuff.

I am so excited to start. 

Tomorrow is the day, D day :D

I am happy to inform that I am not doing it alone anymore I have three great partners in crime.

My dear mother,wonderfull aunt and my loving Erik :)

Together we can do it!

If you want to be apart of this just let me know and you can be apart of our group.

It is not only about the weight loss is about feeling good about your self,your body and mind.

Well I have to go to bed cause I work tomorrow, early, early, early, 5.30am. 

Nice!

GOOD NIGHT!