I have been here, in America, since saturday and it is nice.

The best part is seeing my sister and my bother.

My brother is as crazy and funny as always and my sister is funny and sweet as always.

I am staying at my sisters and it is a so fancy place.

She has a pool and a gym on the first floor and she has a doorman  at night.

Coooooooooooolllllllllllll!

The flight over went as planed. It is so much fun to travle with my mother. She is a hoot.

The first three days have been about adjusting to the time change.

I have have eaten at three places on my list allready, seen some friends, walked down town Milwaukee and that is about it.

Today I am going to see my friends house but before that me, mom and my sister are going to david's bridal to try on a wedding dress. It is scary but exciting :)

Free, New and Honest 

I am ashamed to say that I am obsessed.

I am bosessed with food and  my weight.

It is very tiring.

I feel like a bad person and I always seem to let myself down.

I wish that there was something someone could say to me me that would make me understand that I am beautiful.

Erik tells me every day but it dosen't seem to matter, am I beyond help?

I am abusive. I hurt myself every day with mean words. I tell myself that I am fat and ugly in some way. But I can't break up with myself? Can I ?

If a friend of mine came to me to tell me about a boyfriend/girlfriend that was saying that kind of stuff  I would tell myfriend to leave right away. No one shpould have to put up with that kind of abuse.

But this is me I am the abuser! What do I do?

I am truly ashamed...

I need to come up with some kind of plan to get rid of this demon

Here is the song that Erik and I are recording!

Have a great tuseday

Today I feel amazing .
I have been out for a hour long walk/jog in this sunny weather that we have today.

   

This has been a wonderful weekend.
Game playing, studio time and birthday celebration.

Friday I had my first day att Häggdånger School. It was alot of fun and I think it’s going to be great!
I was so tired Wien I got home that I slept for and hour.
In the evening we were invited over to the neighbors for pictionary and wine.
It was a good time. I won 2 times out of 3 and I am happy J. It was a very plesant evening.

Saturday Erik and I drove to his sister and her fam to celebrate her birthday.
We drank some Coffee and ate som kick ass muffins.
When we got home from his sister’s we went to the studio and started to record one of my songs. Time just flys by when you in the studio. We got alot done but we have alot left to do.

      

In the evening a bandmate and friends of Eriks came over and we playad chicago. That was also fun. I lost the first time we played but won the second time J

I truly can’t believe that by this time nexted week I am in America with 
half of my family, I am ssssoooo excited. The thought of it almost makes me cry.
It has gone almost a year since I’ve seen my sister and two years have gone by since I saw my Brother.
There is alot of joy in my heart J

I rally can feel spring in the air. That makes me happy!

My meal list is now decided bu Kelloggs, it’s after a 2 Week kick start.
It’s gone ok. I have had some sweets this week and I ate some chips this weekend, 
I am disappointed in myself but I am doing good still.
Nexted Week I am going to start yoga, zumba and pilates Alain so then I will be back on track!

 

Free, New and Honest

I have spent my evening with my wonderful neighbors.

We were watching "top model" and talking about stuff, life.

We started talking about friendships, old and new.

It got me thinking.

I had a best friend growing up her name was Emma. We use to play almost everyday. She was so much fun, she was just as crazy as me. I never thought that our friendship would end. I thought that her and I would go through life together.

But then life happend.

We did almost everything together up until we started high school, then things changed.

I can still miss her and think about how it would be if she was still in my life.

It also makes me think about my friendships I have today.

They feel strong and good. I feel like I have surround myself with people I can trust and people I love and who love me for who I am.

But still life happens and I see, talk and hang out with some more than others.

The key is to somehow take care of the friends you can't see or hang out with as often.

I am blessed.

I have my wonderful neighbors that also are my dear friends and then I have my my amazing soulmates that are far away but close to my heart.

I would truly be lost without these people they have helped me and help me every day in some way.

Free, New and Honest

Mr. Sandman never came to me last night to put his magic sand in my eyes. So I am super tired today.

I feel like I'm moving in slow motion

Today I am going to prepare for my work day tomorrow and I 'm also meeting an old classmate for coffee here in town. It will be nice.

Later tonight I am going over to my neighbors to watch "top model" it will be fun :)

Free, New and Honest

I can feel it, I am getting better!

Today I have gotten alot done today.

I have applied to four diffrent courses that would start this fall it I get excepted. I hope hope hope :)

I have also done my driversed practise test online and I passed! I know it's not the real thing but I get super excited when I pass the tests :9

I have also played some piano and guitar, I love music!

Tonight is my last time at the youth club and I hope that it will be a good one.

I truly love working with people, it must be my calling in life.

The weather has been amazing today. The sun is shining, blue sky and birds are singing every where. Can it be SPRING I see and hear?

Free, New and Honest

I am so excited, my mom texted me today and told be that she had boked her bus trip to the airport next week! Me and my mom are going to visit my siblings and other family in America, I am very very happy. 

I am still fighting this stupid cold... I am tired all the time, I sleep until 10 o'clock in the morning and I can't go out for walk even. Buuu!!!!! And now Erik is getting a cold...

I am happy that I am sick now and not next week:)

I worked today at the youth club, it was fun. Today we played "Halleljua", "saved tonight" and "Love the way you lie".

Tomorrow is my last day there.

I hope that I will get inspired soon and really get going on stuff. Right now it's not Bu or Bä...

Meal list

Breakfast- Yogurt and a ham sandwich with cheese

Snack- orange

Dinner- Meatsauce,onoin and carrots with a corn and apple salad

snack- yogurt with bananas adn a ham sandwich with cheese

Free, New and Honest