It's about YOU.

Your life is about you.

There is no one else living in your body except for you.

So that means that YOU have to take responsibility for your well-being.

Easier said than done?

The answer to that is YES!

Right now, in life, I am at a point where I'm kind of at a crossroad.

There is a lot of change happening at the moment and that is scary for me.

Change...I have never liked it and it can be hard for people to understand.

Understand that when I get news that effects my life, smal or big, good or bad it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I start thinking about all the aspects of the news and how it will change everything.

Some people say “Change is a part of life, just embrace it”.

Other people say “It is what it is, just go with it”.

For me it's more “change is coming, I need to run away” or “Change is coming, I need to take cover”.

It is hard to be a person that has a hard time with it and I don't want to be that kind of person.

So either I can take road A:

Force

(Try to convince myself that I am not afraid of change so I put myself in the situation at hand and hope that it will pass. I become unpredictable to the people around me, I get so concentrated that it is going to work that I can hurt people in the process instead.)

Or B:

Run away (I loose everything and everybody)

Or C:

Take time

(Except me for me. Let Cathy take the time she needs to understand, except and deal with it in her own way.

Explain to people involved. others may be upset that I need to have my distance for a while but I don't hurt them in that process and I don't hurt myself either.)

I have to take care of my self to be the best version of me.

No one else can do that for me.

So right now I am taking my time.

It is hard and scary and a first for me.

Though I am sad and somewhat alone I know that when I am done taking my time there will be people waiting for me.

That is truly the beauty of taking responsibility for you well-being.

A whole summer has passed.

Six weeks of vacation has now been used.

This summer was the first summer I was going to just take it easy.

Do all that stuff that I heard that people do on their vacation. Read books, drink wine, drink fruity drinks, stay up late, hang out with friends and sleep in.

It was a unforgettable summer none the less.

If you have read the post before this you know that my grand father fell ill.

He was doing so good and then he wasn't doing that good anymore.

Mom told us to book our tickets for the fallowing week.

We did.

I arrived at grandpa's house at four o'clock.

I was scared...I didn't know what he was going to look like.

I had to get some strength.

My god daughter was sitting with me as I was trying to get myself together.

She asked me if I had seen “big grandpa” yet.

I said no.

She said that she had been to see him and all the stuff that you had to do and that you had to be careful.

I said that I was a little scared.

She said that didn't have to be and that she would g with me if I wanted to.(My god daughter is 6 years old, she is so cool.)

I said that would like that.

So I took her hand and we went over to “big grandpa”.

That night right before midnight my lovely grandpa took his last breath.

When I lost grandpa it made me start to think. It made me stop and look around.

He is truly one of the most giving, loving, proud, funny, stubborn and respected people I have ever know.

I would like to be more like him.

His memorial was beautiful. And when we spread his ashes it was...it was...it was.

MY summer has been ups and downs. But mostly UP.

Me and my darling Erik have been working on our house.

I have read four books and I have drunken my wine.

I have made new memories with some old friends and I have made memories with my little family.

Right now in this moment I am sitting on my deck at my house in sweden look out on what is left of this summer.

Longing, prayers and hope. That is is what is left of my summer.

I want to thank once more everybody that have been praying for my family. I am and I know my family are forever grateful.